after hours

i think it’s odd how much people will tear themselves apart in order to become the perfect image of themselves. especially being a girl and having many girlfriends, i tend to hear a lot of “i hate my legs. i have too much around my tummy. my ankles are too fat. my fingers are too short and stubby. i wish my nose did this instead of that”…etc etc. now i’m going to admit that i’m not innocent in any of this. i tend to be just as self-deprecating as the rest of them (i’m just more secretive and honest about it). i remember reading an article a couple of years ago on a past miss something or another from south america who got butt implants and died. she had a husband and kids and now they’re wife/mother-less because mommy wanted a better booty. it made me wonder what kind of self confidence she had…i stumbled on this great quote-

“i think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. if one person really wants us, everyone does. but if we’re alone, we become even more alone. life is strange.”

well said paul coelho! life IS strange. people are drawn to you if you have love for yourself. i find that if you’re having a hard day, week, lifetime…just find ONE thing to love about yourself…and the rest will come. for instance, i LOVE my hair. it’s always really soft and manageable. and i love my hands. i don’t know why, but the skin on it is super soft and my fingers are long and bony. maybe that’s why i have a weird infatuation with men’s hands. they’re a deal breaker. i love slender fingers on a guy…if there’s an incredibly good looking guy with short stubby fingers…no dice. and when most guys hear about this they always ask me if they have nice hands. do i lie? sometimes. ok i’ve digressed…but i think you get my point.

i really wanna watch the original star wars movies…

we’re all pretty sure james franco is high right now…

just finished watching away we go. so i’m listening to alexi murdoch. 

i need a john krasinski to my maya rudolph.

yesterday my fellow pete majors and i had the opportunity to be photographed for the upcoming mckay magazine (it’s the education program’s mag at byu). we all got dressed up in our unflattering uniforms and did the best we could with hair and make-up in preparation for the photo-op. now, mind you, this class is about learning how to teach children with disabilities…so what does our teacher have us do? put one arm in our shirt and play one-handed basketball. team sports is already a struggle with me, so disable me and i’m ready to get pictures taken! the next round was more enjoyable. we got out the wheelchairs (FINALLY! the day i’ve been looking forward to all semester) and played basketball.

some were smart enought to stay busy pumping the wheels up with air during our one-armed round…i won’t mention names. but it was fun! my chair had a guard in the front that made it look like a bumper car…it came in handy when i couldn’t stop in time before colliding into someone. i hope the wheelchairs come back next week!

what else…? i got high at work yesterday. i went to the men’s vball game and stared. this morning i went on another 6 miler. i just finished watching all about steve. i actually liked it. it had it’s moments. good ol sandy bullock couldn’t have been cuter. and now i’m sitting here…thinking how tired my legs are…

the japanese are like robots. sometimes i wonder why they (i’m generalizing) have no emotions. look up unit 731. it’s a car wreck i actually had to look away from.

if i ever formed a band it would be called “school of fisheries and ocean science” according to the random wikipedia search. or “tongue peak”…

obama doesn’t have an “opinion” section in his brain. he’s now being swayed about same-sex marriage. he wants to declare it unconstitutional that courts are not allowing them to be married. he’s always been an advocate for hetero-marriage but he’s changing his mind. campaign season is coming up. it scares me that our politicians are selfish and power-hungry enough to care more about a vote than the constitution.

females are more attractive when they’re ovulating. human bodies are so strange.

i’m not going to run today. it’s funny how, ever since i signed up for the halfer, it gets harder and harder to motivate myself for a run…

i almost skipped my class today. then i thought it was a sign from above to skip bc on my way to class i couldn’t find my phone and i thought i’d have to go back up to work to get it…but then i found it in my pocket. sometimes i get too hopeful for things to go my way…

ok so here’s my dream. i’ve wanted a green scooter for a while now, since a car is not even an option and green is the best color on the PLANET. and my dreams may come true this summer! my dad informed me of the amount i will receiving back in taxes this year and my brain immediately thought “scooter!”

and then it continued to rove through a plethora of ideas for HELMETS! i could go traditional japanese-type coverage

OR go vintage…(i’m really leaning towards this one)

or i could be a robot.

yea i don’t wanna be a robot…

SCOOTER!

i need a garage band king. i’m debating whether or not i wanna go running in this gorgeous weather while listening to angels and airwaves LOVE and waiting for a certain someone to CALL ME BACK. topic of my inner thoughts today is on what we, as humans, deserve. if we are doing what we need to do and not breaking any rules we automatically assume we will receive a reward. i think we were trained at a young age that we will always get some sort of compensation for good behavior. everyone treats life in a reward/punishment sort of game. i’ve had this conversation many a time with a good friend of mine in terms of relationshipping. i’m sure you’ve heard from single peers around you,”i’m trying the best i can, i deserve a good boyfriend/girlfriend.” or, if you’re a religiously devout individual, “i’m living in accordance to my religion and being the best person i can be, i deserve a good relationship in return.” who are we talking to? God? let me crack some eggs of knowledge on you (in other words impose my opinion upon you)…i learned that we don’t deserve anything! i’m really trying to stay away from ever using that word because who am i to demand anything from my life?! if we are trying the best we can, that’s all we can do right now. TRY. if we get bonuses here and there that’s great! do we deserve them? no. for some reason the big guy upstairs saw it fit to give us that blessing for some reason or another. who knows? maybe it’ll actually turn out to be a life changing lesson. maybe it’ll end up being the worst thing to ever cross your path. i believe it’s human nature to feel entitled to the good things in life but we need to change our attitude and work hard for what we love and hope and pray that good things come our way. yesterday my hometeachers came over and we joked a little bit about “the secret”. i always make fun of it but i know it’s relevant. what “the secret” is teaching you is a method in working hard and trying to obtain those things you desire. you understand that you need to grab life by the horns in order to get what you want. see? want. not deserve. there are many people who sit idly by hoping the opportunity will fall right into bed with them. you need motivation? go outside and yell what you want out into the universe! it sounds like hokey but it feels SO GOOD. it makes that secret desire seem tangible because you just told the world what you wanted…and you’re going to get it because from there you chalk up the courage to get what you want out of life!

tangent abruptly over.

this morning i sneezed funny and now i have a crick in my neck.

racquetball!!!

5 mins on skype with the fam and i’m listening to an argument…somehow i get dragged into the fight because my “game playing” is too loud. the argument is about hand cancer. at least i won in the game of spider solitaire… families are forever:)